how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
