He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
