My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
