That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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