I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
