tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
