WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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