We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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