hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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