It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
