he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
