I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
