I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
