hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
