Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
