turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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