I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
