What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
