Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
