I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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