so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
