i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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