I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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