I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
True college students do jello shots in the library
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
