We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
