Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Blood and glitter go together right?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
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