is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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