fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
