"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
