Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
