STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
