His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
