I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
