just tell him i said nine months
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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