At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
