Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
they're like a gay fantastic four
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
