My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
