I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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