FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
