Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
