This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
