totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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