i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
