I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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