I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
did i just pee glitter
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
