We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
