Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
