I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I have post one night stand depression
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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