this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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