i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
These tits shall not be calmed
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
